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Things To Do When Your Bored In Class
1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
2. Inflate a beachball and throw it around the
room.
3. Sing Show Tunes.
4. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
5. Think of new pick up lines. See
if they work.
6. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
7. Churn some butter.
8. Conceive a brand new
language.
9. Walls made of brick. Count 'em.
10. Plot revenge against someone.
11. Think of nicknames for everyone
you know.
12. See how long you can hold your breath.
13. Take your pants off and give them to the professor.
14.
Chew on your arm until someone notices.
15. Change seats every three minutes.
16. Think of ways to cheat at Trivial
Pursuit.
17. Shave.
18. Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it.".
19. Announce to the class that you
are God and that you're angry.
20. Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
21. Start a wave.
22. Walk around the
room begging for spare change.
23. Roast marshmellows.
24. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
25.
Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.
26. Take apart your desk.
27. Pretend to communicate
with your home planet.
28. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
29. Do a quick
tapdance routine.
30. Try bird-watching.
31. Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!".
32. Throw your
backpack at someone.
33. Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal".
34. Ask the person in
front of you to marry you.
35. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.".
36. Make a sundial.
37. Give
yourself a new identity.
38. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim.
39. Dig an escape tunnel.
40.
Announce your candidacy for President.
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Do On The First Day Of Class
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying,
"Quite right, old bean!"
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
3.
Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your
textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
6. Introduce
yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where
his soul would go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
9. Leave
permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle
of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
11. Ask whether
the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
12. Become entranced
with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.
13. Sing your
questions.
14. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
15. When the professor calls roll, after each name
scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."
16. Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you actually
are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.
17. Page through the textbook scratching each picture
and sniffing it.
18. Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you've done so.
19. Hold up a piece of paper that
says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".
20. Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang cymbals
together whenever your name is spoken.
21. Stare continually at your professor. Occasionally lick your lips.
22.
Address the professor as "Your Excellency".
23. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been
drinking.
24. Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.
25. Bring a mirror and spend the lecture writing Bible verses on your face.
26. Ask whether you have to come to class.
27. Present the professor with
a large fruit basket.
28. Bring a "seeing eye rooster" to class.
29. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly
ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.
30. Relive your Junior High
days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
31. Watch the professor through binoculars.
32. Start a "wave"
in a large lecture hall.
33. Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra
copy of each handout.
34. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
35. Correct the
professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the "i" is silent.
36. Sit
in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
37. As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer
to put a problem on the board. Ignore the professor's reply and proceed to do so anyway.
38. Claim that you wrote the
class text book.
39. Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!"
40.
Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
41. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup
Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
42. Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your
seat after the professor answers.
43. Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates that the S stands for "stud".
44. Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"
45. Disassemble your pen. "Accidentally"
propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.
46.
Wink at the professor every few minutes.
47. In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
48. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.
49. Wear a black hooded cloak to class
and ring a bell.
50. Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of ancient Greek trade routes
down farther because you can't see Macedonia.
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